The Six States of Swine

The Six States of Swine: Legend

Head: Adventure

Shoulder: Rural metropolis

Loin: Casual elegance

Side: Comfort zone

Leg: Special occasion

Parts Unknown: Foot, Tail, Intestine


It has recently come to my attention that I have built some sort of reputation as a writer and chef based entirely on pork. Please permit me to respond: It is with great honor that I accept this esteemed title and reputation and on behalf of all the writers and cooks / aspiring chefs in the English department. Thank you.

The only logical next step in defending my reputation is to further describe my special relationship to the mighty swine and perhaps explain my obsession in terms of a conceptual map. While the map locates cuts of pork with regards to the entire pig, it simultaneously locates the circumstances under which I cook or eat each given cut-location. I admit, while there is almost an infinite amount of useable/cookable pig parts, I had to narrow them down to six based on my limited experience with this majestic beast. That being said, please do not mistake the following pork narrative as a complete representation of the entire pig, or of all pigs everywhere. The intent of this map is to locate my limited cooking and eating practices with my favorite cooking and eating animal.

Moving from left to right and starting with the head, I labeled this part ‘adventure,’ because the only eating relationship I have with this region is one with head-cheese. Basically, all edible parts are stripped from the head then boiled down, seasoned and suspended with various vegetables in a savory gelatin. This stuff can scare people if they know what it is, perhaps because the idea of eating tongue and cheek seem somehow less appealing than belly fat (bacon) or ass meat (rump roast/ham). I like to say, “Eat it all and let god sort it out.” I do not eat head-cheese very often compared to other cuts, so the adventure stems from a sense of eating the uncanny – something I usually only eat when I travel or crave something comfortingly exotic and strange(ly delicious).

Technically the pig has two shoulder cuts (Boston and Picnic/Hand), but I lumped them together because aside from the occasional spare rib chop, the only thing I eat from either shoulders is sausage in one form or another. So many varieties of ways to season and prepare sausage: cooked or cured, blood or meat, and of course spice variants. But the basics remain the same: grind shoulder meat (or blood), fat, and spices then simply stuff into a casing (traditionally intestine). Sausage is not a fancy way to prepare meat by any stretch of the imagination (though it can be used in fancy dishes), but since there are so many different kinds sausage it can be very overwhelming. Be sure not to confuse a Spanish chorizo (salt cured) with a Mexican chorizo (comes raw). You’ll destroy any recipe that calls for one if you get the other – trust me.

The loin is about as fancy as it can get when it comes to service and preparations. The cuts of meat tend to resemble various steak cuts of beef (t-bone : pork chops and the filet). I rarely cook from this region unless I’m trying to impress with pig as the focal ingredient. Sure I wrap a lot of food in bacon and put bacon bits in almost everything, but this merely enhances other ingredients like vegetables. While all things pork tend to be relatively easy to cook and prepare, good cuts of meat require a certain finesse in execution in order to turn out edible. You can cook the shit out of bacon and I’ll still eat it, but a good pork chop must be treated delicately. This is exactly why I don’t tend to go for the higher quality cuts of meat – most of the time I’m too lazy to devote that much attention to my meats (by quality I mean less fat content).

If, as my map suggests, the pig was a country, I would live in the Side state. At the very least, I probably go through one package of bacon every week. Side or belly fat is the form under which my generous love for swine has been objectified. Pork ribs aside, who but a vegetarian can resist bacon, pancetta and/or proscuitto? I am very comfortable with cuts from the belly and all things lard, so comfortable in fact that (as mentioned above) I am compelled to wrap most of my vegetables and other meats with bacon or at the very least add bacon bits to my salads. I contend that some manner of pork fat can be added to any food and made better for it.

Giant hams and rump roasts lend themselves well to large social gatherings and/or special occasions. Where I grew up for example, we always had a ham for Easter (raised catholic but I do not personally endorse any religion). Tradition dictates my applications of the leg region. Even the illustrious eggs and ham seldom appears but on a certain author’s birthday, and even then it’s green. The ass-meat stands proudly for tradition and traditional executions of the glorious pig.

The tail, hocks, and feet I hear are very edible, but I would not know from experience. The proper opportunity has not presented itself for me to cook and/or eat these unique regions. I hear, that is to say, rumors suggest that compared to other regions, these parts unknown are much more limited when it comes to the diversity of possible executions. Verily, this is a result of systemic cultural ideologies which oppress some regions of pig while elevating others. Therefore I cannot be faulted for supposing myself rather nationalistic about my preferred state of swine in practice and ideology – bacon at all costs.

My Journey to 'A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream'

Did someone mention partially fictionalized travel narratives? What about collectors and the narratives their collections weave? "...Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can," (4) -- Or any collection for that matter, as our friends Blumenbach and Banks would have us believe. Perfect! I call dibs on writing about Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas!

At the moment, I'm thinking I should look at how early travel narratives can be fiction, then look at how New-Journalism is necessarily fictionalized. A quick critical examination there then I think its off to close read a few passages from the Damberger (or others? I'll take suggestions) and draw compelling parallels between various Thompson passages about how fiction works in all narratives. I plan to work something in about fiction and collections as well -- as in the fiction of how various collections are represented. Aside from drug collections, F/L deals with collections of cars, hotel rooms, hotel services/food, and collections of technological devices used by Thompson to constantly type his news articles and stay in touch with Rolling Stone while on the road ( i.e., The Mojo wire -- like a primitive portable fax machine). This section could lead into various other technologies of travel/collection -- more stuff we've visited from the really old guys.

Mainly, I want to explore (by our classroom definitions) ideas of fiction and collection in travel narratives and various technological elements that helped along the way. Thompson needed to stay in touch with his center of calculation (Rolling Stone HQ). On some level I want to compare technology that Thompson used to stay in touch to navigation devices like sextents and maps used by Cook, Banks, etc. Finally, I think I want to note something about how Thompson and Acosta travelled to very culturally foreign locations, despite the fact they never left America. Examining the cultural other and its environment. Thompson attempted this and still ultimately (probably) failed in similar ways that the Royal Society failed to portray foreign cultures -- but I want to examine this curiosity and want to explore the cultural other. At least Thompson's misrepresentations of Americans did not lead to scientific racism ....... (like many of those old guys) ...