part London at the start of the next month on a mighty galleon called The Whale. While gathering supplies for the voyage, I ran into a street urchin out of luck and in need of work. He claimed to have traveled on many ships as a crewman, and had run out of money while waiting for the next ship requiring crew replenishment to port. He told me his name was Amir and that he, of Belgian heritage, had travelled to India and back once before on another expedition. I decided to hire him on as an inland guide for India after he mentioned that he had family back in Mangalor, India, and that he had not seen his wife and two children for several months.April 1, 1799: We've set sail for India! Be merciful oh great Poseidon!
April 2, 1799: The purpose of this expedition is to help colonize foreign lands and inhabitants by stealing a bunch of stuff to bring back to London. I need to improve my social status in England because of my partial Irish ancestory. Banks and the Royal Society promised my riches and land if I bring enough distant and exotic loot back to the center of calculation.
April 5, 1799: Arrival in India. We're reading to start collecting, I hope the locals don't mind.
Upon arriving in Surat, we had to buy provisions and transportation to move inland toward Mangalor. Amir told me that many royal families in Mangalor had new spices (curry and cardamom) and treasures we could easily take back to England. I know these spices are hard to find in England and therefore I could make a ton of money if I brought a lot of it back. These kinds of spice-discoveries can fund entire expeditions.. I imagine. Also, Amir, the street urchin says cardamom is delicious and expensive back in Britain. I tend to believe his savage tales about spices because of his familiarity with this distant land.
Upon arriving in Surat, we had to buy provisions and transportation to move inland toward Mangalor. Amir told me that many royal families in Mangalor had new spices (curry and cardamom) and treasures we could easily take back to England. I know these spices are hard to find in England and therefore I could make a ton of money if I brought a lot of it back. These kinds of spice-discoveries can fund entire expeditions.. I imagine. Also, Amir, the street urchin says cardamom is delicious and expensive back in Britain. I tend to believe his savage tales about spices because of his familiarity with this distant land. April 6, 1799: Gathering supplies for our journey inland has taken longer than expected when we learned that a camel shortage had recently ravaged the industry. We had to resort to back-alley dealings with seedy characters in the run down areas of Surat for hours before finding an old man who offered to sell his camel due to his inability to commute between work and home after losing his job to the crippled camel industry. I admit I kept my carbine close in hand while searching the black markets for transportation. Many of these independent merchants employed very large body guards. Basically once the old man saw my tattered clothes he must have decided I had not a lot of money, because we had no trouble from his body guards. Once we got the camel we were ready to venture inland to Mangalor for spice! 
April 8, 1799: Two days of camel travel through the desert. We stopped at a temple half way t
o Mangalor because our camel and Amir needed rest from the sun. The locals supplied us with pickled fruits (similar to how us English pickle our olives) and fresh water. It is strange to note that we discovered the locals see cows as holy creatures and therefore no one eats them. I believe this is similar to the Mohametan belief that the world is held by the horns of a bull and thus the cow is scared. Also, we get no cow's milk. Thus far, aside from water we've only had almond milk to drink. And, as of yet we have not been able to find much flesh to eat, only nuts, pickled fruits and rice with butter. I assume the butter comes from goats, but I have not seen any goats yet. Amir promises goats once we meet up with Indian gentiles in Mangalor. 
o Mangalor because our camel and Amir needed rest from the sun. The locals supplied us with pickled fruits (similar to how us English pickle our olives) and fresh water. It is strange to note that we discovered the locals see cows as holy creatures and therefore no one eats them. I believe this is similar to the Mohametan belief that the world is held by the horns of a bull and thus the cow is scared. Also, we get no cow's milk. Thus far, aside from water we've only had almond milk to drink. And, as of yet we have not been able to find much flesh to eat, only nuts, pickled fruits and rice with butter. I assume the butter comes from goats, but I have not seen any goats yet. Amir promises goats once we meet up with Indian gentiles in Mangalor. 
April 14, 1799: We've arrived in Mangalor! Very hospitable Indian gentiles offered us
a large feast of goats and rice along with butter, ginger, curry and figs. The goats here are delicious! The locals roast the goats on spits all across the estate. It is a wonderful sight to see -- all this meat roasting on open flame. This vision of cooking meat makes it hard for me to feel bad for the cute baby goats that the gentiles have cooked everyday. Quite the contrary in fact, Amir and I were both quite excited for this little guy!
a large feast of goats and rice along with butter, ginger, curry and figs. The goats here are delicious! The locals roast the goats on spits all across the estate. It is a wonderful sight to see -- all this meat roasting on open flame. This vision of cooking meat makes it hard for me to feel bad for the cute baby goats that the gentiles have cooked everyday. Quite the contrary in fact, Amir and I were both quite excited for this little guy!April 15, 1799: I've loaded several camels with the exotic spices and gathered supplies for the journey back to Surat where we are scheduled to catch a boat headed for Rome. After securing the small fortune in spices I attempt to locate my guide, Amir, but the local gentiles told me that he fled in the night with a camel, a store of gun powder, ammunition, and half my supply of british cigarettes. Apparently he ran off to find his family in one of the nearby northern villages. Good riddance I thought at the time, though I also remember anxiety about finding the way back to Surat. I bought one of the gentiles' slaves to guide me back to Surat who I also plan to bring back to England as a foreign specimen of some sort -- perhaps the Royal Society will pay extra.
April 21 1799: Made it to the boat and heading to Rome first then back to England with my treasures!
March 25 1799: Back in England and I'm rich now so I've decided to stop writing journals.
April 21 1799: Made it to the boat and heading to Rome first then back to England with my treasures!
March 25 1799: Back in England and I'm rich now so I've decided to stop writing journals.
3 comments:
Hilarious (and insightful) post!
Whoa, notice how our time-line of events corresponds but the stories are different. It demonstrates the subjectivity of writing about any experience quite well, and also demonstrates how hilariously awesome we are. Nice touch with the picture of roast lamb btw.
Sir Banks: I almost died laughing when I read this. Who knew Amir was so shifty? Classic picture of you two, by the way.
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